i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
