Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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