How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
