Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He passed out mid-signature
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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