so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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