Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Randomize
