I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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