You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
