My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
