ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Boobs speak an international language.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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