You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
