one two three fourrrrnication!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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