i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
