Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize