U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thus making me awesome and them whores
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
