wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
