Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
