I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
