$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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