Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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