is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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