i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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