But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!