We're like a lot better than the average bears
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast