I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.