so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
