Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
