I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize