You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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