Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
