I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
