(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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