Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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