I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
