I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
