i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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