Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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