Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
