we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
