hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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