I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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