i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize