You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
