I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
