Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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