Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
