Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
