Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
