Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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