My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize