The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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