Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
