Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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