I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
