I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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