Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
