Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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