I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
