last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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