dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
