Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pooping to opera.
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