So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
