i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
