I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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