the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
