I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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