I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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