I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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