craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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