Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
