Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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