My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
should my penis look like a turkey
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
